Wedding Jitters

No. I'm not getting married.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way...

I just went to a wedding. Of two very good friends of mine. They are absolutely perfect for each other, and they are going to be so unbelievably happy, from my point of view. But what do I know. What do any of us know about that 'right person' and those who 'just know' that they have found the person they are going to marry. What if I found mine at 15, or 16 or 17 but disregarded him because we were so 'young'? Or what if I am currently with the person I am meant to be with. All that stuff really freaks me out! Just how can anyone be so sure of who they are, and who they WILL be, and what 'forever' really means. It's just a scary thought, that I I realized this evening.

I was driving to the wedding this afternoon, and it hit me:
You spend your whole life thinking of something. The proposal goes perfectly. The ring is beautiful. The wedding plans begin. The wedding dress is picked out. The wedding plans are finished. And there you are, two hours before you are about to walk down the isle and pledge the rest of your life to one person. I'm not one that's afraid of commitment, but goodness that terrifies me. I just don't know how I could ever be THAT sure about something. And so confident. And so grateful that life has worked out so perfectly. And with the divorce rate, who knows anymore. Marriages don't last forever. Maybe that's a good thing because people are getting out of them instead of wasting their lives with the wrong person. But how do we know who that person is? How much work in a relationship is TOO much work? And how much is not enough? Where does that balance come from? and ah. Just how do you know.

Now that I've gotten that out of my system. :) Woohoo for weddings! They are so beautiful and inspirational. That there's such a strong love out there to be felt. I'm lucky because I have experienced love, and know how much stronger their feelings must be than anything I've ever felt because I'm nowhere near the point to devote my life to another human being. But I could one day be. And when that day comes, when I know without any doubt in my mind that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with this one person, to have children with this one person, and to grow old with this one person, that will be truly incredible and surreal!! And I will be the luckiest woman in the world.