Crying Is How You Know

So for the past four years I’ve been trying to figure out what ‘true love’ is and what phrases like ‘meant to be’ ‘perfect for each other’ ‘soul mates’ etc. Etc. ETC mean.

Well. I think I have a theory on what love is, and what true love is, and how you know you found that special person.

There’s something that happens to me when I think about the two person in my life that I honestly don’t know how I would live without…I cry at the thought of the possibility that one day they may not be here anymore. So indicator one…crying! But the good kind of cry. The kind of cry that comes from the depth of my inner most being and is unstoppable. In fact, if I was an actress I think that is the way I would be able to cry on cue..just think about the possibility of losing my mom or Dominic.

Now, how does one decipher what this ‘perfect for each other’ and ‘soul mates’ words mean. To me it has absolutely nothing to do with if we enjoy all the same things, think the same things, call each other at the exact same time, have the same major, have the same birthday (yup, some people I know really think this is an indicator of true compatibleness), or any other superficial bullshit that really doesn’t mean anything. I’ve decide that it’s about having common passions in life.

My passions are

1. Being mentally stimulated on a daily basis

2. Owning my actions and understanding why I do the things I do

3. Surrounding myself with music

4. Learning about life

5. Being real

The last one may be a tad confusing, so to me, that combines a few of the other passions I have and it takes knowing who I am and being okay with that. I’ve learned I do not have a “business-personality” and when I’m in an environment that challenges me to act that way, I am not being real. When I allow my real personality to come out, that is me being real. That genuine excitement, that sincerity, that Shannon.

Dominic is the closest to matching all of those passions that I have ever come across…far closer than anyone. So no we aren’t both business majors, our thoughts on money and lifestyle and ‘success’ are extremely different, we were brought up on almost opposite sides of the spectrum, I tolerate his music and he mine, I love chick flicks and he likes crappy movies, etc. Generally our thoughts on children, marriage, cities to live in, etc are similar, but in the end I believe that it’s about the bigger things, those passions that I mentioned that truly

But damnit I cry when I think about him. And that’s enough for me.

The other night he said something really real, he said that “it’s pointless thinking about if this is ‘as good as it gets’ because it implies that we’re settling. What’s important is that we’re both happy, so why would we ever wonder if there is something better.” I like that.

I don’t know where the future will take us. Or if I’ll have the pleasure of spending the rest of my life with him. Or if we’ll live happily ever after. But goodness gracious, I couldn’t ask for someone better to help guide me to become my true self.

I don’t know if you’ll ever read this Dominic, and it’s not like any of this is new to you, but every moment we share is so precious to me, and wherever life may take us…these memories will help guide me to the life that I deserve.