Seeking Passionate People

It’s 2:30am right now. I haven’t written in months. I write when I feel inspired.

Looks like I’m feeling inspired.

What will I write about? I used to write when I was having problems with my relationship, but there are no problems there, and if there were, I certainly wouldn’t be wasting my time writing when I could be talking to him.

Maybe I’d like to talk about the people I respect in this world…the few personalities out there that I do. That personality is: open-minded, considerate, passionate, insightful, interested to learn, reflective, confident…real. If someone is real, meaning they know who they are and have accepted that. I don’t give a shit if we disagree on subjects, but know why the hell you believe something before you go and waste everyone’s time preaching about it. Goodness I hate that. Be able to look at yourself from the outside and understand why you do something that way.

For example, I’ll own up to something right now: I have been cursed with migraines (certainly not as miserable as others have) and it completely destroys me every time I have one. It’s not that I can’t see straight that bothers me. It’s not that when the left side of my face goes numb the feeling is unbearable. It’s not that the throbbing pain cripples me. It is the fact that I have completely lost all control over my life for whichever period of time the migraine would like to take over for. I have a very controlling/dominant personality, so when I’m in an environment where I do not have a strong sense of control, I completely break down. The worst part is when I live my life feeling like I have this annoyance under control and it occurs again, it’s even worse than before. So—my point—I know that it is not the pain that bothers me about having the migraines, it is the lack of control over my life at that point in time. And THAT is the skill that I value in others, that ability to see what is going on deeper than surface level in the situation.

I appreciate people who have interests different than mine, I feel like we can bring new realizations to one another. I long for individuals who can begin a conversation beyond basic surface-level-bullshit in a matter of minutes. That is what life is all about, and I thank that handful of people in my life who have given that to me.

I would like to name some of those people who have provided me that feeling..and if you didn’t expect to be on my list know that you really did make an impact on me: Dominic G, Matt G, Dan W, Melissa S, Joe E, John G, Kristyn C, David P, Heike M, Amy D, Stephanie P, Levi L, Tommy M, Dan B, Mom, Dad, Laurie H, Lara C, Gretchen D, Alisha Z. I know I forgot some of you, and I truly apologize. But please come up to me, say “damnit Shannon, I thought we bonded that one time—and then I’d like to bond again and I promise 1. You will be added to this list and 2. I will never forget the impact you had on me again. My challenge to you—you better do it!

Alright—well my inspiration is slowly fading. I heard some amazing music tonight. I would die without music.