Why?

Why is there so much hatred in this world? Why when we look at others do we immediately begin to pick down the things that make them inferior, things that make them less of a human being, things that make them...well…different. Why do we put stigmas on others? Why do we allow these stigmas to monopolize our thoughts and opinions?

Yes. These thoughts were sparked by something very specific. The film Crash.

Excellent.

Disgusting

Far too real.

Something I am very unaware of in my sheltered world is the idea of such hatred, disrespect and racism. Yes I laugh when people on TV make fun of certain races and I could easily mention the common stereotypes of every single race in this diverse world. But where does that line get crossed between being aware of these stereotypes and acting them out. Like the difference between prejudice and discrimination. The difference between stereotyping and treatment. What happens in one’s life that causes them to build such an incredible hate towards one group—what happened in their lives that makes them feel as if they deserve to have revenge on that group—not that person but that entire group. I just don’t understand why it has to happen.

Why are people given guns? There is absolutely nothing good that can come of having a gun. Yes you can say its ‘good’ because you can use it for self defense if necessary, but there shouldn’t even be a fucking need to defend yourself with that serious of a weapon. Why give the people of this Earth the power to end one’s life. To decide when one has lived long enough. To decide that they ‘deserve’ to have their life ended.

That is an absolutely absurd power.

I’m scared to have a child. To have so much of your soul in something that you can’t control and protect. Someone that at any moment can disappear from your life. Someone that will mean more to you than anyone in this world because they are your own flesh and blood. They are the representation of love. The representation of intimacy. The representation of two souls becoming one. God, I hope no one ever takes away that gift from me. To me, that is my ultimate goal. I want to be a mom. I don’t care when or how—but I need that part of my life fulfilled at some point throughout my life. Definitely not now, but if it were to happen I would never give up that opportunity to have the greatest addition to my life.

So. My thoughts at 1:06am after two strong experiences: 1. realizing all this and 2. having the most intense reaction to a scene in a movie that I’ve ever had.

Thank you Danni and Heike for experiencing it with me.